Jon Stewart is right: Chicago pizza sucks

Ick.

After Jon Stewart went on his hate rant about Chicago pizza, the good people of the Second City lost their minds over it. But Stewart is right: The gloppy mess that is a deep-dish pizza ain’t a pizza at all. It’s a casserole. It’s an eggless quiche. Consuming one of these is like dropping a hot plug of lead into your stomach. There is no pleasure in the chore.

Eating the other version of Chicago pizza, the thin-crust tavern pizza, features all the satisfaction of eating pizza toppings dropped onto a wet saltine.

Neither version holds a candle to the New York pizza. That’s a pizza you can chew on. It has fight.

Disagree with me? First, let me ask you: Are you from Chicago? If you are a Chicagoan, are you only defending the Chicago pizza because you are from Chicago? (Of course you are. Just admit it and move on, White Sox fan.)

Oh, and here’s one more image for you, Chicago guy:

KETCHUP ON A HOT DOG.

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