Notes on Gravity

I hate space!

1. Gravity is a movie starring Sandra Bullock as an astronaut. George Clooney is also an astronaut. They don’t have sex. Their spacecraft blows up. So does the International Space Station. And the Hubble Space Telescope. Clooney dies off camera. Etc. More about this humdinger on the official page here.

2. I was never worried that Sandra Bullock wouldn’t make it–Hollywood.

3. I don’t think the experience was meant for my 17-inch TV.

4. I’m not a scientist… but I found some of the space physics to be off.

5. Sandra Bullock owes the United States, Russia and China each one spacecraft. I’m sure SpaceX can cut her a deal.

6. I wanted Sandra Bullock to be confronted by the ghost of Gus Grissom (played by Fred Ward) at the end, who tells her that she’s actually dead. “You ever read ‘Occurrence at Owk Creek Bridge‘?” Grissom asks her. “Good story. This lie you told yourself? Not so much.” He points up. “Hey, there you are burning up on reentry!” A little white streak crosses the sky. 

You’ve got it all wrong, the issue here ain’t pussy. The issue here is monkey.

About Jan Ovcak

Jan Ovcak is currently laboring on several important works of criticism at once, in near-complete obscurity. "You can only predict things after they have happened." -Eugene Ionesco.

  • http://www.rumored.com Jon Konrath

    The fact that they made this movie in IMAX 3D and did not have one sequence of Sandra Bullock taking a dump in zero-g is the perfect example of why Hollywood has failed.